A PEN for TWO

[Excerpt from WAY TOO BIG] Muffled crying could be heard from upstairs. I walked slowly up the  stairs, trying to figure out where that sound was coming from. I heard the sound of something shattering from Elizabeth's room and it dawned on me that Elizabeth was the one crying. Which was strange by the way, she hardly ever cried. Elizabeth had no reason to cry, unlike me. I kicked her door open, knowing fully well that Elizabeth would never open the door for me. Yeah, we're that kind of siblings. "What do you want?" She yelled immediately she saw me. "Whoa whoa whoa! Calm your tits young lady. I'm the boss here. By the way, I heard glass shattering. That's why I came in to know what you broke, so you'll pay for it as I did when you and mom made me pay with my hard earned money the time I accidentally broke the laptop." I smirked. "Just get out Naomi! I need a break from all of you. I just need a break, a little me-time. I. . . ” The rest of ...

The theme came in, Something about little joys. “What’s to write?” I waited two weeks in hopes that I’ll find it.   And now I write, still not much to focus on. The few thoughts in my head make me want to cry with bliss. I’m a cry baby, yes, but this time it’s more than just that, It’s about how far I’ve come from so little.   The first thought in my head; my mum. Oh, she’s not a little joy, I made sure she knew that on mother’s day. She’s a bundle of joy that has taught me to appreciate everything.   To appreciate her smile on a beautiful morning, And appreciate that I can still greet her good morning. To appreciate her legendary Sunday Jollof rice, And appreciate the knowledge of it that she has passed.   Then there’s the thought of my dad; No, he’s more than even the biggest joy, I made sure he knew that on Christmas day. I reminded him of one thing he did for which I’ll love him forever.     I reminded him of that toy he bought me one time during Christ...

  I slipped into consciousness slowly and it took a while before my eyes got adjusted to the light. The light was so bright and piercing, I felt like I was facing a white  void of space. I winced and closed my eyes, still feeling the white mass of heat on my face. Slowly again, I opened my eyes, trying to move my face away from the source of light when I noticed that my neck was stiff. Stiff? It couldn't be! As fast as adrenaline would allow, I tried to touch my neck to know what was happening up there. That was when I realized my hands were tied to something. This made me stop and try to take in what was happening. My hands were tied to something cold, probably a metal. My legs also were tied up, all with a thick mass of rope—I guessed that, from the way my hands were feeling so uncomfortable and tight, I probably had been here for a while because I could feel welts on my skin. I tried to free myself, which was futile by the way. I tried to scream out, probably someone would ...

  Like a million hands, they climbed up my body, Accompanied by voices that came in loud whispers. I recoiled but they kept coming at me Till I backed the wall, no room for escape. My head hurt, my skin crawled. The darkness surrounding me was swallowing me whole. I could hear the banging of my heart in my ribcage, The sound of it filled my senses, And it seemed they heard it also 'Cause their whispers grew to excited murmurs. "Save me!" I cried inwardly in despair. And like an answer to my prayer, a door swung open; I was sent back into reality, And they all disappeared like they were never there. But the erratic beating of my heart, Which was just slowing down, said otherwise. ©Daisy.

  Have you ever been in a situation Where you simply feel scared and worried Without knowing the reason why? Many times this is what I feel, And this has been part of me for years. I always think that I'm a coward Who hides behind a pen and awkward verses, And that my words are nothing but weak corpses That can only lie on my tongue, Like a body on an autopsy table. Anxiety knows me, I'm its slave; It makes my whole life seem like a mountain of shame On top of a steaming pile of guilt, 'Cause everything I do seems like shit. Even now, I'm anxious that nobody Would adore this poem for a bit. Which of the traumas do I have to cite? Is it increased heart rate, That shortens my breath and tightens my chest? Or the nausea and lightheadedness, That stops my feelings when I'm doing my best? Or the obsessive, compulsive behaviours, That makes me furious enough to fight everyone else. Anxiety knows me, I'm its slave; It draws me away from loving my people, But drowns me ...

I've locked up myself in the shadows Because I'm anxious about tomorrow.  I'm scared that things will never go right, And that my dreams will never see light.  I've locked up my feelings in the shadows,  And spread my emotions out to lie fallow.  Now I'm an empty mess of undefined tears,  Fake smiles, shallow laughters and many fears.  I've locked up my memories in the shadows, And now I must live with the faded glimpses and wallow  In the failed promises of yesterday, And the great uncertainties that come today.  I've locked up my existence in the shadows, And my purpose has been hung at the gallows.  My anxiety has a chokehold on my sanity,  But I forget that my fears are all but vanity.  ©Khrystalz