JUST BEFORE I FALL

Just before I fall today,

I see glimpses of yesterday,

Of things I could have done, words to say;

And when the seams started to fray.

Just before I fall at all,

I play on repeat the hoots and catcalls,

The loud whispers and hooded footfalls;

I see it all like I've done before.

Just before I fall, in advance;

Tell momma that it was my last chance

To save something other than a blasted romance;

Something that once seemed to me as a farce.

Just before I fall-unlike last time-

I want my best memories on repeat a thousand times,

To bring back feelings so true and sublime;

Maybe then I'll feel like I'm worth more than a dime.

Just before I fall or leave the dark,

I drop the knife and take a step back.

I ignore the noises, even the loud and lone bark,

And for a minute, I'm not bothered by the clack.

Just before I fall, I kneel.

I lament my broken state as I cry and keel.

I wear my eyes out as I let myself feel,

And not be condemned by oaths or a binding deal.

Just before I fall, I'm in the streets,

Kneeling in the rain as I let it wash the grit;

I tear off the clothes they labelled as thrift,

And for the first time, though battered, I lived.

A PEN for TWO