WHAT ARE YOU?

I'm lying here, in my bed,
Just wondering how it works in your head.
How you manage to sleep in your bed,
Right after you made her blood shed.

Wondering how wrong it was
To have given you the benefit of the doubt;
To have trusted you when others wanted you out;
To have given you a chance where others saw none.

I'm wondering what your excuse is,
Wondering what pushed you to do it,
Wondering how even with her pleas you went ahead;
Wondering how even with her cries, you left her for dead.

"Please, don't do this", I hear her voice.
Each time I close my eyes, I see her face.
I see her face and I hear her voice, and my heart bleeds;
And I wasn't even there to witness the deed.

How then, how do you sleep?
Knowing that you cut someone so deep,
Knowing that you shattered someone's spirit,
And did it like there was no limit.

Like there was no limit to the amount of her tears,
Or there was no limit to pleadings you heard.
Like there was no limit to the pain she could take,
Or there was no limit to how far her legs could quake.

What are you? Really, what are you?
A monster from the pit of hell,
Or just an untrained animal?
Nah, animals won't even do such ill.

Animals won't force a mate to bed,
Neither would they hit the mate against the head,
Nor would they leave said mate with wounds to tend.
No, they wait for consent.

But you have no idea what that word means;
If you did, you'd have waited to hear it without mince.
Instead, you took it, alongside her dignity and pride,
And like the coward you are, you run and hide.

You hide! You tell her to shut up!
That if she breathes a word of it to anyone you'll cut her up.
And then you'll walk away with a smile on your face,
And with blood and grime flowing down her legs.

And all of this, because she was too beautiful,
Too sexy, you couldn't help but get your fill.
Now you pat yourself on the back.
You're proud; the nut, you've been able to crack.

But more than crack, you've broken;
Her ability to distrust and her insecurities, you've awoken.
Her ability to speak and be confident, you've diminished;
Her image in her own eyes, you've tarnished.

And so I ask again, what are you?
Should I fear for my dignity when I see you?
Should I lock my daughters in so they don't cross you?
Should I tear marks into my skin so I don't arouse you?

What are you?!

—Onwumah Ozed
©2020