SUICIDE IS MY ANSWER

 

SUICIDE IS MY ANSWER

"Suicide is not the answer."
With every new case, you hear that phrase.
With every new vice, you hear that advice.
An advice spoken from the lips not from the heart.

"Suicide is not the answer."
I would have believed that phrase,
If only someone could show me a better answer;
If only someone could give me a quicker relief to the pain.

There isn't a better answer, the only other answers are cruel!
The only other answers are filled with bitterness and hatred!
The only other answers are callous and evil!
I know, because I've heard them all, to questions asked and unasked.

Questions regarding who I am; they tell me I'm a weirdo.
Questions regarding my education; they tell me I know nothing.
Questions regarding what I should do; they tell me nothing good can come out of me.
Questions regarding who I should marry; he tells me to stay away from him.

Questions regarding who to be friends with; they tell me I don't fit in.
Questions regarding who to date; he tells me he hates my guts.
He bullies me and makes me the laughing stock;
He gives others a chance to tell me where I belong– in the dirt.

So much more questions, and so much more vileness;
But with suicide there's peace.
There's the cold hands of death, wrapping me and giving me comfort.
With suicide I might live freely.

Heaven or hell, I might get to choose where I want to go,
And I can decide to roam just a little more, just in case.
Just in case I'll find the guy who jumped off a roof,
Or the girl who was found dangling from her ceiling fan.

Or maybe I'll find that guy, the one with the slitted wrist;
Or maybe, just maybe, I'll find the one who drank sniper.
Whoever I find, it'll be bliss,
Whoever I find, it'll be a blessing.

A blessing because I'll find a place with them;
A blessing because I'll finally fit in.
A blessing because there'll be people who understand the pain I had to go through;
A blessing because we'll be bonded by our scars.

So don't feel sorry when you find me in the morning,
Don't feel sorry when the autopsy reveals it was poison.
Feel guilty because you're one of the reasons,
And feel happiness 'cause you finally got rid of me and led me to where I really belong.

—Onwumah Ozed
©2020

A lot of times we might find ourselves thinking we'll find peace in our own deaths but that's hardly the truth. The truth is taking our own lives doesn't end the pain, it only passes it on to other people. And there's certainly no peace in seeing your loved ones sad for something you could have prevented. To read more about the effects of suicide on others Click here