BRITTLE BEAUTY

 BRITTLE BEAUTY

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. So said the wise about Beauty and left us to behold her. And behold we did, with our many different eyes.

I am a woman now, with a family consisting of a loving husband and a friend. Yes, my daughter is my friend. Isn't my life perfect? But still I have these niggling worries. Worries because my daughter is growing, she is becoming a woman. And I have to let her know all the intricacies involved in that which she'd soon become. I have to let her know that she is beautiful. And she is! My husband being the most handsomest man on earth, pardon my English but that's how handsome the guy is. And I being, you know? I'm not boasting but then, simply stated; I am extremely beautiful. Mind you, I'm still not boasting.

But you see, my Mother, long ago, told me something about a woman's beauty. Something more than that the eye perceives. I remember vividly then, she'd sit me down and start the lectures in a calm voice. A voice that permitted no questions. 

“Your beauty is your virginity,” she'd say at the end of her lecture, “And it can be broken.” And I would nod my head and know my beauty was still intact.

Well, that was until my first boyfriend. Regardless of my closeness to my Mum, I still didn't tell her about my boyfriend, because she was still a Nigerian parent. All my love and devotion to my boyfriend was behind my Mother's back. One thing though, led to another thing, and that beauty was broken. Yes! That very one my Mum was always speaking about. And it broke me too. More so because the stupid guy I loved hated me once the deed was done. 

I was so broken, I tried to hide it, I really tried. No complaints at home, I did all house chores, even played with my little brother and his toys! But my Mum, being all educated and super-observant, noticed. One day she threw it straight at me, “My dear, why are you so sad?”

I was caught off guard, I thought I was doing a good job of hiding it. “Mum! Why would you say such?! I'm just...” 

“Oh dear! This is serious!” my Mum wasn't buying my denial, “Come, we need to talk about this.”

Oh! I couldn't hold back the tears anymore, they fell. Freely. Onto my Mum's shoulders. I told her everything.

After all crying and patting, my dear Mum began the longest lecture yet. This one I listened to soberly and I know each word by heart.

First I was flogged, albeit with my Mum's tongue. I guess you can't escape that with any Nigerian Parent. Then I got to understand more about the beauty inherent in women.

There is the Physical Beauty, which according to my Mum is the most irrelevant. I don't think most men would agree though. And there was the Brittle Beauty which I had lost. It was that beauty that was gone, broken, never to be mended. I don't know if she was trying to comfort me then, but my Mum had said it didn't matter as much as the third one.

I like to call it the Psychological Beauty. The godliness and homeliness of a woman, her ability to carry a home. I believe we call it Wife-material or so nowadays. That beauty was the greatest of all. A woman's strength, calm, love, independence, wisdom, and all things beautiful! A woman's complexity, maturity, capability, forgiving ability.

That beauty? It is groomed with time and never fades away. It persists and is never broken. It is not brittle. It is this beauty that defines us, defines who we are and the legacy we leave behind as women.

Indeed the lecture achieved it's primary purpose; I stopped feeling broken. I stopped feeling sad, wasted and empty. I realized once again that I am beautiful, as all women are. That true beauty never fades, is never broken.

Now it is up to me to let my daughter know that too. She's already attracting those stupid boys and it's better she knows that there's more to her beauty than the eyes perceive.

This stage of my life has been lived and is already written. But hers is yet to be lived. It is my duty and hope to make it a nicer memory to write down and to remember.

©T.F.C.