THE BEGINNING OF THE END

The Beginning of the End.

Had we lived in a timeless world;

A world we can trap moments 

and live in it forever,

The world would be much better.

My world would be much better.

Just like yesterday, I remember,

The first joyous news in a long time,

I felt my spirits rise like never before. 

I — am — finally — blessed — with — 

the — fruit — of — the — womb.

Even though it was belated, 

The long - suffering was worth it.

A certain type of joy radiated 

on my husband's face,

He smiled a way he hasn't since 

we tied the knot fifteen years ago,

He now has it all, or will soon have it all.

Even I can finally breath here and now.

O little one, you are the promise.

Seconds rolled into minutes,

minutes into hours,

and in no time, 

I'm counting down to my delivery date.

I must have lost consciousness,

I regained it at the hospital.

It didn't have to be spelt out for me,

I could see in his face

that something had broken in him.

Something irreparable, 

something unredeemable.

They called it miscarriage, 

they had no idea it was the last straw.

In other to save my life,

my dead foetus and womb had to be taken out

O ye grief! O ye agony! O ye death!

Why didn't you take me instead?

It was beyond devastating,

It was beyond shattering.

The loss we both shared, 

we couldn't overcome.

We couldn't rise beyond the dejectedness.

So I wasn't surprised when I got served the divorce papers

We had a good life, a wonderful one

Before the glimmer of hope,

Before the ephemeral euphoria...

How?

How do I go back to the time I was pregnant?

How?

How do I go back to the time before I was pregnant?

Should I have not told him?

Should I have not gotten married to him?

Should I have not gotten pregnant?

All these questions, just one answer.

I shouldn't have gotten pregnant.

© Tianah O. O